


Calculations (of a human nature)

by ladygray99



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Community: numb3rswriteoff, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-23
Updated: 2010-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-06 14:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygray99/pseuds/ladygray99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gary actually spends a lot of time doing calculations of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calculations (of a human nature)

**Author's Note:**

> There's not a lot of Gary fic out there and I'm hoping to do more with him in a larger fic down the road so I wanted to try to get a feel for the inside of his head. I'm not sure if I'm entirely happy with how it turned out so tell me what you think.

Gary rolled the whiskey around in its glass. It was as thin as water but didn't move like water. It clung to the inside of the glass for just a moment before sliding along. Gary had always wondered a little about that. He'd spent enough of his life swishing whiskey around to have a lot of thoughts about the amber liquid.

Gary took a sip and wondered if the whiskey clung to his throat the same way it clung to the glass. He supposed if he really wanted an answer he could probably ask the Professor. It probably had something to do with surface tension and density and something to do with the glass. Gary could almost picture the never ending calculations that would be involved in the answer.

He could hear Dr. Eppes explaining something at the far end of the bar where Agent Eppes and his team celebrated. Gary glanced over and cursed a little to himself. He wondered if Eppes used a casting agency to pick his team or something. Granger looked like he should be hocking aftershave or deodorant or something and Sinclair looked like he should be on a runway in the latest Armani. And then there was Eppes himself.

Gary watched as Eppes upended his beer highlighting a long lean neck that ran down to a long lean body. It must have been the fourth or fifth beer of the evening for Eppes. Gary wondered how Eppes could put back full calorie beer like that and still fit into those obscenely tight jeans. Gary had barely been able to focus when Eppes had shown up to the raid in those. The thigh holsters hadn't help either. He probably spent a lot of time at the gym.

"Shit." Gary cursed quietly to himself as obscene thoughts of Don Eppes, Don Eppes' team and gym equipment floated into his head.

Gary took another sip of his whiskey. Despite common belief he was not a man who drank to excess. He kept careful running tallies in his head. He knew how much alcohol he could take in and at exactly what rate and exactly how long it took to burn out of his system. It was a reasonably complicated little bit of math if he did say so himself. Dr. Eppes probably wouldn't find his calculations all that impressive but then again Dr. Eppes seemed determined to keep up with his brother and his pretty boy team drink for drink. Gary wondered if the Professor had ever calculated just how many brain cells he could risk losing to alcohol. Probably.

Speaking of the Professor, Dr. Eppes slid onto the stool next to Gary and gestured to the bar keep for anther round. Gary took a sip of his whiskey and looked Dr. Eppes up and down. He was as annoyingly pretty as his brother in his own way. Gary had met Alan Eppes and so could only assume that Mrs. Eppes had been absolutely stunning to get two kids like that.

Dr. Eppes sipped the beer he had brought with him. "Gary, I know you're not a laugh a minute kinda guy but we won a big one today."

"Did we, Professor?"

"Well I like to think so."

Gary gave a sideways glance. The Professor's baby face was flushed with alcohol and some errant curls were just falling into his eyes. Gary wondered if both brothers had curls like those and if the elder was simply doing his damndist to hide that fact. "I've been doing this a little longer than you have, Professor."

"That is true."

The bar keep delivered the drinks. Three whiskeys. The Professor pushed one over to Gary then neatly tipped back the other two. Gary quickly tried to rejig his alcohol consumption formula for a five and a half foot math professor. "Go easy on that, Professor. It's got a kick."

The Professor chuckled a little and sipped his beer. "Lieutenant, I have an extensive Ivy League education. The first three things I learned how to do at Princeton were drink, screw, and how to hack into the library computer to get extended book loan times. In that order."

Gary looked the Professor over. He certainly didn't seem to be heavily intoxicated. His words weren't slurred and his hands appeared steady. "Well here's to a well spent education." Gary lifted his own drink.

The Professor lifted his beer then leaned close. "So I'm trying to work out why you aren't celebrating. And I've got some theories."

Gary sighed to himself. Dr. Eppes was obviously not one to lose track of a subject. "Maybe I'm just not in the mood." Gary stated carefully. That was true. Gary knew exactly what kind of mood he was in and it wasn't the kind of mood where he should get happy, drunk, and talkative with the brothers Eppes and their federal entourage.

"Maybe, but there were some unusual things about this case."

Gary finished his first drink. "Not really. Just another gang that needed to be taken off the streets."

"Well there are a few little things that don't quite add up. Or actually do add up as long as I make some presumptions."

Gary felt an odd tingle of panic low in his stomach. "You're drunk Dr. Eppes"

"I have an IQ over 200 Lieutenant Walker. So here's what I'm thinking. You work with plenty of gangs, take lots of gangs off the streets, you're patient. You'll wait, weeks, months, years. You build your cases. This case was on your desk less than a week and there was nothing that really warranted federal intervention. And you didn't even go to Don first, you came to me."

Gary cursed himself quietly. He knew that had been a mistake. "Well your brother doesn't have office hours posted on the CalSci website. You're easier to find."

"You just wanted them gone." The Professor continued. "Hard and fast, you didn't care about the credit or what they were going to go down for you didn't even question the math I was doing."

"Well I've learned to have a little faith in your work, Professor." Gary hoped stroking the Professor's ego would divert his track a bit.

"Yes, well, you see, I wonder if you'd have been as driven if it was pretty girls they were dolling up and delivering to all the best hotels."

Gary almost couldn't hear for the sound of his heart in his chest. "Professor," Gary said carefully, "You are far too drunk to be trying to guess at my motives and I am far too sober for any conversation with you."

"But I'm not wrong, am I." Gary shivered a little. Dr. Eppes seemed to be almost purring and it was doing uncomfortable things to Gary's peace of mind.

"Don't assume 'cause you're good with numbers you can calculate people." Gary told himself his voice was steady.

The Professor's low chuckle ran down his spine. "Who said anything about calculations. Saw the way you looked at that boy Don dragged in. Andy, wasn't it? All done up like a geisha doll. So very pretty. Mind you the junkie shakes were a bit of a turn off but it's a good way of keeping an in demand work force under control."

"Professor, you might need to close your mouth now."

"Oh don't worry, the guys are painfully oblivious to some things, just like I'm not quite as oblivious as people assume."

Gary threw back the drink Charlie had ordered killing his own alcohol consumption averages for the night. "Is there something you want, Professor?" Gary asked trying not to clench his teeth.

"You should be celebrating Gary and you're obviously not enjoying yourself, sipping your drink. Though you might be interested in learning a bit more about my Ivy League education."

Gary gripped his empty glass. It was perfectly obvious what the Professor was offering and with three ex wives it was something Gary had only allowed himself a handful of times. Gary looked Dr. Eppes over and did what he always did in these situations; calculated just how badly it could go wrong.

The Professor's pretty little girlfriend was first on the list. If she found out or even got an inkling Gary could kiss his secrets goodbye. Then there was the added threat of the protective older brother who was very good with guns. Throw in the idea that this could be a joke or a test by the bureau guys at the other end of the bar. Send in their prettiest member to try to lure the old queer cop out. Plus the simple fact that Gary knew himself. Even if it was a legitimate, honest offer the sex was worse than the booze. Gary knew from hard experience if he had Dr. Eppes even once he'd just keep wanting more.

All that added up to danger greater than any drunken lust Gary might feel in the dead of night in his cold bed.

"You should be careful Professor. A man shouldn't just go around making offers like that. Especially to a cop." Gary tried to make his voice cold.

"It's not the fifties anymore, Gary. Hell, it ain't even the nineties." The Professor replied with a bit of a chuckle.

"Things don't necessarily change." Gary said to the bar top more than anyone else.

"Maybe you're the one not changing." Gary gripped his empty glass and counted to ten slowly beating down every desire that had haunted his past and Gary knew would torment his future.

"Professor, go back to your friends and leave me alone."

"Okay." Dr. Eppes replied quietly. "But if you change your mind, you know where to find my office hours."


End file.
